


Black Hat Drabbles

by tifaching



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble Collection, Episode Related, Gen, Humor, Weechesters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-16 17:36:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tifaching/pseuds/tifaching
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The spn_bigpretzel comm on LJ had a drabble contest- White hats (team writing humorous good guy drabbles) and Black Hats (writing humorous bad guy drabbles)  I went for Team Black Hat and managed four funny bad guy drabbles.  One demon, two angels and a MOW.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chaperone

Someone’s got to keep an eye on the chosen vessel and all of Azazel’s lackeys had ditched work today. Each and every one prefers a stint on the rack to chaperoning Sam’s first grade class on its trip to the movies. Well, sometimes the boss has to do the dirty jobs himself and Azazel finds himself sitting in the dark amid a gaggle of screeching six year olds.

The movie ends, the lights come up and he’s getting a few strange looks from the other adults. Maybe, in retrospect, it wasn’t the best idea to cheer when Bambi’s mother died.


	2. Uriel's got a reputation to uphold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uriel's going to knock them dead.

They’re out there behind the veil, all of them, he can feel it. They’re watching, waiting impatiently for him to step through the curtain. Sweat runs over his scalp, down his face, gathers in his armpits…all very unpleasant. It’s a vile, human thing and it’s disgusting that he’s falling to their level.

Murmurs of sound reach his ears, louder and louder until they become calls for him to come forward and face them. The challenge is clear and he strides forward to meet it. It’s open mic night at the garrison comedy club and Uriel’s going to knock them dead.


	3. Writing Is Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Writing is hard.

The sky arched overhead like a ~~big blue~~ cerulean ~~thing~~ blanket. Clouds floated ~~whitely snowily~~ fluffily up there and the whole thing arched over another blue thing that wasn’t quite as blue but was made of ~~water~~ waves of ~~cerulean blue~~ aqua.

The sun shone ~~muggily toastily~~ warmly over all the blues and other things and waves and ~~solids dirt~~ land. Everyone was ~~reverent slothful~~ lived happily ever after.

"Well that doesn’t exactly have bestseller written all over it," sighed Metatron, tossing the stone tablet onto a growing pile of rubble beside his desk. Transcribing was easy. Writing was hard.


	4. Beep!  Beep!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having the right vehicle is vital.

“I don’t know. I vish to ride like the vind, but…I vant something…a little…smaller.”

The used bike salesman sighs quietly. He’s used to indecisive shoppers, but this weirdo takes the cake. “Sir…”

“Count.”

“Sorry. Count, perhaps a Harley isn’t the bike for you. Have you considered a minivan?”

A sharp intake of breath indicates a possible sale. “I vill take that one.”

 _Of course you will_. “Excellent choice, sir.”

“ _Count_.”

The shifter beeps the horn twice as he put-puts the Vespa out of the parking lot. Cape fluttering behind him like giant bat wings, it’s almost like flying.


End file.
